I must concur with my own observation: standing behind this counter, pretending sanity, I am not myself...yet it is obviously who I am.

Heshe enjoys working the register because he enjoys the bantering interaction with customers — most of whom are pleasant, kind citizens of a nature not designed for meditating observation, more background figurish...few people are truly attractive, but that does not mean they are not beautiful. (Candy comes in all flavors and designs for a reason.) Heshe enjoys being one with the whole, which is why the altercation he was having was out of character. Sure, he could be a bit witless witty, but he was not threatening, he was fragile Heshe.

“I want some sugar packets!” the oval, perhaps female, of massive cirularity shouted at Heshe.

“Honey, you don't need no more sugar, and I already told you we don't have sugar packets. There is sugar on the counter over there,” he exasperatingly whined, pointing.

“Listen! I know you got sugar packets. Everyone got sugar packets. I seen you guys give 'em out before!” she growled.

“Sweetie, we have not had them since I've been here, and I've been here for a long time. And I have never seen you. I would remember you.”

“You better watch your mouth, ya little faggot ass!”

“Ouch! Honey, I'll take my little faggot ass over your giant fat ass any day of the week. And we're done. You can move aside.”

Heshe looked at me and rolled his eyes. Where most people would be angry, he was having fun.

“Give me my sugar packets!” oval shouted.

“I said we're done. Next!”

The oval snapped. She rifled through her luggage sized purse, desperately searching for something. I paused the process of much important coffee pressing, as my once refined senses began to hint something might be amiss.

“Next customer?”

“I'll show you next!” she shouted, handing her bag to her friend so she could go through her friends' bag, where she eventually found what was sought.

“Keeeeek. Keeek. Keeeek.”

The sound was unmistakeable, it was a bright pink electric shock weapon, possibly a Taser, but more likely a cheap knock-off.

“Come here, little faggot bitch!” oval shouted, turning toward Heshe as she tested the button on her device of incapacitation.

“Oh fuck!” he shouted in his high-pitched, squealing she voice.

“Uh uh, no,” oval's friend said aloud, exiting the store as oval ran and rolled her rotundness behind the counter.

Running for his life, Heshe screamed, afraid.

“Keek. Keeek. Keek.”

Oval kept pushing the button, making the noise to frighten the much smaller, quicker creature. “Come here, you little faggot bitch!” she shouted every time she came close to getting him.

It seemed a bit surreal, especially when they ran past me a couple of times. Eventually, I had to accept that she was not going to let up till she caused Heshe harm, or killed him — who knows what that thing was set to. Of course, she never did get her sugar, as the hand of fate knew where to place its presence.

I wanted to tell oval to stop, but between her shouting threats and Heshe's shrill screams, nothing would have been heard. The solution was simple: I had to stop oval's assault.

While dancing about between customers, I motioned for him to come to me. Without hesitation, he scampered across the room and stood behind he who will be, thee.

“I ain't got nothin' wichew, but if you ain't gonna get the fuckin' outta my way I'm gonna zap your skinny ass too!”

Skinny? Is she coming on to me in the throes of this tense situation? Seems a bit inappropriate, but the allure of a viral man, who is skinny, which is most any man when you are built like a pear with the bottom girth of a love sofa.

Unfortunately, thinking about unwanted advances and skinny was too long a hesitation. With all the might of right, the good of just swung at the jaw protected behind her fleshy excess. Before I could feel the impact, I felt a jolt of electricity go through my body and send me limp to the ground. Fortunately, even though I did not feel it, I had connected.

It did not take long for me to regain control of my rebounding physique of physicality, and after slowly erecting, I found myself standing over the limp body of oval, her face bloodied as she lay unconscious.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You knocked her fat ass out!

“Oh,” I brilliantly replied as the cleanup crew entered the establishment.

After taking witness statement, and watching the security recording a few times — she may have been knocked out, but the laughter was at me going limp and collapsing like a rag doll — they took oval away in handcuffs, having to put multiple cuffs together to get them behind her massively padded back. Her attitude was undeterred.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm gonna fuckin' kill your fuckin' ass!” she shouted. “Ain't no one cold cocks me, mother fucker!

“Get your goddamned hands offa me! I ain't did nothin' wrong! Arrest that mother fucker who cold cocked me. Let me go! You pieces of shit should be 'restin' those fuckers there!”

“Calm down, miss.”

“Don't miss me, mother fucker! Think you're all that 'cause you gotta badge and gun an' shit. Fuck you! Give me a badge and gun and see how tough you are then, mother fucker! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You're hurting me!”

“Stop struggling, ma'am. Calm down, or we are going to have to subdue you.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You're hurting me! You're hurting MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

After a while, things were back to normal, whatever that may be.

Heshe came over to thank me. I accepted, as a gentleman should.

“Sugar packets?” I ask.

“Who knows.”

“I don't know where you people come from, but this is definitely your world and not mine.”

What are you talking about? If you were not here, people like her and I would have destroyed this world long ago. Honey, this is so your world, we're just here for your entertainment and to test which ones of you have the balls to do the right thing.”

I smiled at his answer, which give him cause to smile mischievously, forcing the non-sexually interested in his interest to become a bit uncomfortable.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Not sure I want this.

“Close your eyes.”

This could be dangerous.

“Put out your hand.”

I'm sure I will be able wash off whatever is going to be placed on my sweaty flesh.

I feel a small drop hit the palm of my hand.

“Okay, open.”

Opening the eyes too almost any possibility, I spot in the middle of my palm a big front tooth.



“You knocked it out, mister man. I picked it up and put it in my pocket so the cops didn't take it as evidence. I don't even think the whore knows it's missing.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“No, thank you,” Heshe replied, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

No, this does not look like my world. I do not know where you people come from, but I would not really want to imagine a world without you.

Yes, I must admit it: I belong...as does Heshe...as does Mooshe...as do we all...

Oh well, it's all an adventure.